Escaping Home

...andami kasing involvements dito. parang buti pa nung andiyan ako, nami-miss ako. ee ngayon? kailangan ko pa mag-papansin, haha. drama chever. basta, parang mas naging malawak lang iyong mundo ko nung bumalik ako dito. kung diyan kasi, napaka ideal at free nung fact na nabubuhay lang ako for myself...haha. basta ganun...

Hence was my reply to an old housemate last night when she asked me, "kumusta ka naman diyan ate?"

As usual, my phone flashed: Maximum message length reached. 2 messages will be sent.

I've been back from a two-year's worth of bumming around in Baguio. Reconnecting with the people I left there gives me a sense of melancholic nostalgia, especially at present times when I wish to escape.

When I was in Baguio, I lived as independently as possible, only texting or calling my folks for allowance. I lived as carelessly as possible with only the eyes of my Tol watching over me. I lived only for myself, not thinking, as much as I can, about the people I left at home. Slight and harsh exaggerations, intended.

It has been a year and a half since I came back home. I had no choice but to deal with change. I had no choice but to face what life has in store for me back here. At first, it has been pretty rough; doing adjustments and everything. It took time for me to get used to things. I eventually got the hang of how stuff work in here. Trust me, it wasn’t easy.

Suddenly, I found myself again intertwined with the lives of people I care about: my family, my barkada and even with my first boyfriend. Then more people came along: new classmates, course-mates and the almost org-mates. Talk about involvements, huh?

Of course it was fun hanging out with all of them. All I had to do is manage my time (no social life matters during Sundays: its family day), laugh at their jokes (no matter how corny it is, I always find it funny anyway) and emotionally invest (at promising new friendships). It was fun: there’s no better way to beat stressful academic days than to spend time with people who understand what you’re going through.

The fool in me expects good things to happen all the time. Reality check: they don’t.

Lately, I have been watching bad things happen. Unearthed secrets are beginning to cause filial troubles. Undone obligations lead to endless and heated discussions. Unsettled past is continuously haunting present happiness. Unresolved issues resurface as big deals. Unexpected entities enter the picture and damage relationships.

Needless to say, I’m affected. It’s a big, rude world. I seem so insignificant to interfere. I feel so helpless that even though I’m in between all these mess, I still am not in the position to do something.

There was an adage that goes, There's no place like home.

Well, last night, I sincerely missed being in Baguio where I can be as far as I can, from the harsh reality of being at home...

♥I.Know.I'm.Worth.It♥