Sibling Love

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.

Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

It has been exactly three months since my Ate died. It was also a Monday when it happened and for some time, I feared Mondays. I'm just grateful that I was at home that time. Nevertheless, things had been really painful.

I have three other siblings left. And I'm just glad we're sticking with each other. Unknowingly, we're easing each other's pain. Time and again, I'm thankful.

"A sister - a special kind of double."

With the Goddess and the Little Prince.

At the end of the day, I'm glad I have them. Needless to say, our Ate is dutifully and happily watching over us from above. :D

Tension of Opposites

Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, bu you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band.

- Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom

I have been dealing with a lot of contradictions lately.

I have been making wrong decisions, committing mistakes and hurting some people these past few days.

It's a struggle I always have to go through - working things out, opting for what's right, being better.

I'm looking for something (even someone) to blame but I always end up frowning at myself in the mirror.

The best that I can do is to make myself believe that these will all pass: my overwhelming hang-ups.

This may or may not work but if there's one thing I really need and want right now, it's understanding.

It's such a big word considering the fact that I can't even understand myself...

There, I'm doomed. T.T

P.S.

Could someone just tell me not to be too hard on myself?

It might also work if you could talk some sense out of me...