End of the World

They say that today (December 21, 2012) marks the end of the world.

I don't know about that but for a couple of times, MY world ended. 

It ended the moment I realized I’ll be in college for six (long) years. It ended about two year ago when a best friend stopped talking to me just because of a guy. It ended around this time last year when my Ate was buried. It ended just a few weeks ago when someone told me, “I have to admit that I’m seeing someone else. I’m sorry.” It ended yesterday, when it struck me that I’m nowhere near getting important things done.

Reasons range from the most stupid to the most heartbreaking, I know. 

Thing is, endings happen. For whatever reason, in whatever form, endings exist. We have to deal with it. Only by dealing with endings will we experience beginnings. Now, that's something we should look forward to, right? :)

Taken from: http://www.webmastergrade.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Mind-Refreshing-Sunrise.jpg

Just Grateful

This birthday's much better than the last. It has been one tough year and with God's grace, I made it through! Yey! :)

I'm thankful for a lot of blessings despite the hardships and difficulties, despite the pain and sorrow that the previous year brought. I'll let bygones be bygones and leave the past as it is. I won't forget though, I won't forget everything that made the past year rewarding on its own.

I'd like to believe that I've grown and matured since then. I've learned a lot and I'm still willing to learn more. I'd still make mistakes and mess up but at least I'd be more responsible for all the decisions I'll make. I'd fall in love again then perhaps get hurt for a few more times but I won't give up on love, not now, not ever.

In the past year, I lost and gained - lost loved ones, earned new friends; lost some battles, gained new perspectives; lost a bit of myself, gained more of others. Changes, they happen. I have to deal with them or end up losing more than I could bear to lose.

As I write this, I'm at home, surrounded by my family. With them and with every single person who truly loves and cares for me,  I'd be more than willing to spend the next twenty or more years of my life. :)

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me with 21 years of existence! Thanks a lot for everyone who made this day extra special - my family and relatives, my teachers and classmates, my friends and loved ones. Please let them know how much I love them. Thank You for making my wishes come true. I'm so happy to be Your child. Thanks a lot for everything!  :)

For Someone Special

For my other Ate, my Best Friend, my Mother...

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. 

~ Abraham Lincoln

Thank you so much for everything...

Your love, your patience, your guidance --

Everything about you keeps me going.

I've never been the perfect daughter,

Too many times I have let you down,

Yet,  when I need you, you're always around.

Thanks a lot for bringing me into this world,

For accepting me despite my shortcomings --

I'll always be your "junior" that's a promise.

I love you Mama,

Happy, Happy Birthday! 

One Year

Photo editing done by Ramyelle Athena M. Ang

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,  Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Exactly a year ago, I lost my Ate to cancer - tumor recurrence made her lungs collapse. I was with her during those last moments of her life. I never thought seeing a thestral would be that painful. It was a nightmare that still haunts me at times.

It was one long year. 

When Death hits too close to home, you would think twice about Life. In my case, I doubted whether Life is something that I should still enjoy. I doubted whether it was possible for Tears to stop falling. I felt betrayed and hopeless so much that Grief became a best friend. Pain just had that terrible power to make things seem surreal. 

It was a long year and a lot happened. 

Time helped heal the wounds, in fact, he's still working right now. Faith entered the picture, brought Grace and Hope with her - they make a powerful trio. Love kept our family together and made our days brighter. We still have Grief with us but we also manage with Smile and Laughter around. Happiness visits and stays a bit longer from time to time. 

I never thought I would be able to reach this day.
I never thought I would be able to look back to that awful day. 

But here I am...

• blessed with a family who's more strongly-knit than before.
• surrounded with friends and loved ones who truly care.
• thankful for every good and bad thing that happened.
• learning from every experience I'm having. 
• endowed with maturity and growth I never thought I would possess.
• having faith that whatever happens next year, I have nothing to worry because I'll still have my Ate's love.  :D

Shy

Silly, you can be at times,

Happy-go-lucky, more than once in a while.

You turn heads as you walk,

Refuse to be charmed with just a small talk.

I envy you for being strong,

Lost I am, without you to hold on.

Lots of things I fail to let you know --

Except this, that I love you so! 



Here are a few more things that I hope would make this day extra special:

Happy 19th Birthday!